In short
Your values are the things most important to you, the beliefs that guide your decisions. Many of us have had our values instilled in us since childhood, and they change with each season of life, before children and after.
What values are
Personal values are our fundamental beliefs. The things that are most important to us, the characteristics and behaviours that motivate us and guide our decision making. Honesty, integrity, freedom, health and family are just a few.
Knowing your core values gives you the foundations to create a life of authenticity and of purpose. It helps you identify what motivates you, establish healthy boundaries, and make the right decisions for YOUR life.
Are your values really yours?
Your personal values may not be your own. Many of us have our values instilled in us since childhood, from our parents, schooling, community and society. Your core values, whether you are aware of them or not, directly impact your beliefs and actions, and therefore YOUR LIFE.
Your values change with each season
Your values in your 20s aren't the same as your 30s, and aren't the same as your 40s. What my values were before I became a mum and what they are now are different. And as my children grow and move through their own seasons of childhood, my values change for what I want for them as well.
The value that changed everything for me
I thought I lived with integrity. Then I learned about self-integrity, and I realised why I was so miserable. I would commit to everybody and do all the things for everybody else, but I was lacking commitment and action towards the things I wanted for myself. Keeping my promises to myself has been a GAME CHANGER. It's my number one value.
Start small. If you start big, you're going to crash and burn.
Questions to sit with
- What are the three most important values that guide my decisions in life? Are my current actions aligned with these values?
- Where in my life am I compromising my values, and how does that make me feel?
- What would it look like to live in complete alignment with my values, both as a mother and as an individual?
I'm a wellbeing mentor. This is gentle guidance for your wellbeing, and is not medical or psychological advice. If you are finding things really hard, please talk to your GP, or call the PANDA helpline on 1300 726 306.